a female farmer pulls a carrot from the ground on the cover of the novel TURTLE HEAD by Scottish writer of contemporary fiction Jocky MingerTURTLE * HEAD

by Jocky Minger

A Novel That Rejects the Possibility of Reliable Biology


The Battle for Bowel Control is a thrilling and hilarious novel about one man's quest to conquer his body and overcome a lifetime of bathroom embarrassment. Follow protagonist Jocky as he navigates the ups and downs of holding in his bowel movements in public places, facing down his own physical limitations and societal norms. With every cringe-worthy incident and embarrassing moment, Jocky learns important lessons about self-control, determination, and the true meaning of dignity. Will Jocky finally find relief or will he be trapped in a never-ending cycle of holding it in? Find out in this fast-paced and unforgettable journey.

If you're unable to hold in your bowel movement, it's important to find a safe and private place to use the restroom as soon as possible. If you're in a public place and unable to find a restroom, it may be helpful to look for a nearby store or restaurant where you can use their facilities. If you're in a situation where a restroom is not accessible, it may be best to try to hold the bowel movement until a restroom is available. If you're experiencing difficulty controlling bowel movements or have other symptoms such as pain or discomfort, it's important to speak with a medical professional.

I'll job my pants in ten minutes and I'm not kidding, maybe at the end of this road or nghhhmmm maybe round the corner it will happen around there and down the lane and beside the dual carriageway or across the dual carriageway if I hold it hold it in, I could drop it there, quick-drop it there at the dual carriageway but nghhhmmm I'll job my pants if I'm not home soon and that's for sure because this shit has commenced its exit and it is shitting right now as in at this moment in time it shits, and I shit and you shit and he she or it shits that is like the correct English right there, though what it means is that it is both at the same time both I that shits and it that shits as in the shit is a shitting shit ha ha and the boy shitted the shitting shit, while the shit shat, as in the shit was in the act of shitting in the correct English of the verb to shit with me being ‘the boy’ ha ha ngghmm and the noun shit and the verb shit and I haven't jobbed all day nghhhmmm


when you hold in your poop but it comes out a tiny bit. your butt is like the shell of a turtle and the poop is the head.

by turtledude September 20, 2013





  • ISBN: 9780993227240